


Drowning in regret

by ScavengersFics



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety Attacks, Character goes mute, Demons, Depression, Dreamon, Emotional Manipulation, Enderman Hybrid Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Guilt, Isolation, Mind Manipulation, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Psychological Trauma, Sleepwalking, Stockholm Syndrome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-18 02:20:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29110698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScavengersFics/pseuds/ScavengersFics
Summary: Takes place a week or so after Ranboo’s “visit” to Dream in prison.Dream begins to struggle with the crushing loneliness of his cell, slowly losing his willpower and motivation. As each new day passes more of Dream begins to wither away.Ranboo’s hallucinations become increasingly worse after the incident as they begin to happen publicly and become harsher and harsher with each episode.It seems a new spot in the afterlife is opening…
Comments: 4
Kudos: 93





	1. Guilt

**Author's Note:**

> So I originally posted a super quick write up of a plot point for this fic. I wasn't really planning on making it into an actual fanfic but it received some good responses. I stayed up to 3 am writing the first half of the starting chapter decided to post what's been written so far. Anyways enjoy. 
> 
> Edit: THE FIRST CHAPTER IS DONE BOYS, GIRLS AND NON-BINARY PALS!!!

Every minute felt like an hour and every hour seemed like a day. Time moved so much slower than it did before, or at least that’s how it feels when one is trapped in a black box with nothing but your thoughts and the tick tick tick of a clock.

Dream stared at the clock, with nothing but his thoughts playing back and forth in his mind. He was sat in front of the adjacent wall, his back pressed firmly against it, watching the golden contraption spin as day turned to night. Lava spat and bubbled just to his left although it didn’t bother him, not after the number of times he’d walked straight into it only to poof back into existence and deposited into a shoot back to his cell. He was numb to it.

He’d become numb to many things in his lifetime before imprisonment. He had become numb to the fear of losing his friends and family by pushing them all away, he had become numb to the losses in his life such as his parrot and horse, Spirit. The very same creature that had been used as leverage in an attempt to overpower him. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t miss them a little even after his claims of detachment.

Spirit wasn’t the only one Dream missed. He missed George and Sapnap and their ridiculous bickering. He missed their companionship. He missed them…

“Nope, I am not going down that train of thought…” Dream muttered to himself. “It’s pointless…It’s just pointless.”

Standing up due to sore legs Dream began pacing the walls of his prison, dragging his hand along the smooth volcanic glass. His thoughts started to wander again. Memories slowly trickled in of the trio during the early days of the world they lived in. every joke that resulted in fits of laughter, every smile, every peaceful moment shared.

He’d circled the room several times before Dream realized he was silently crying, the guilt he felt growing in weight. Tears pooled at the edge of his mask irritating his skin, he quickly scrubbed them away. Fed up with his moping Dream dragged himself towards the chest in the corner and retrieved one of the many empty books along with a quill.

‘Dear…diary? -Log 1

I lost count of how many days have passed since I landed myself in here. Feels like years… I know it’s likely only been a month. Time passes so much slower when you’ve got nothing but yourself and a dumb clock to spin around. I’m getting real sick of eating raw potatoes every day. Hardly filling, although it’s not like I need the energy from them.

Sam installed a new system to deliver my food so he doesn’t have to anymore. I’ll admit, I miss seeing him as often as I did before… It’s pretty lonely in here. And quite.

…

Starting to wish I had a bed or something to sleep on other than the ground, my back always aches when I get up. At least it’s pretty hot in here, the lava surrounding my cell keeps the obsidian warm like a heater. Guess it’s a good thing I don’t have my layers of armour on or I’d probably just die from heatstroke.

…’ The book skidded across the ground in the direction of the chest followed behind the quill.

A glance at the clock above him told Dream it was nearing midnight. With a sigh, Dream flopped onto his side and pulled the drawstrings of his hoodie tight, closing his eyes as he willed himself to sleep.

* * *

Ranboo shot up from his bed, the nightmare still fresh in his mind. His heart pounding rapidly in his chest, it felt like drums of war within his ribcage that didn’t seem to stop. He grabbed at his chest and blankets as he struggled to draw air into his lungs. One. Two. Three. Four. Four seconds passed before he finally gulped down the much-needed oxygen, as the panic set in so did the hyperventilation.

‘You need to calm down Ranboo’ the thought kept running through his head on loop but he couldn’t seem to fulfil the instruction. ‘remember the breathing routine Phil taught us… breathe into four and out to six… breath in and out- one, two, three, four, five, six… repeat.’

About 15 minutes had passed before his heart had slowed to its resting pace and his breathing relaxed. Ranboo tried to remember the contents of his night terror but they’d already decayed into blurry messes of nonsense. All he knew was that it was about Dream and the voice… That’s all his nightmares ever consisted of. Why does it have to torture him so? Why him? Why is it getting harder to tell reality from figment?

Running a clawed hand over his face Ranboo stood and began getting ready for the day ahead of him. He’d most likely see if Phil or Techno needed a hand with anything before he set off to the mainlands or Snowchester. He was curious about Tubbo’s progress with his nukes and Tommy’s hotel. Best to completely avoid the prison...

It had been a week or so since his episode or was it a nightmare? He wasn’t sure anymore. But ever since that night Ranboo had been having horrific nightmares and hallucinations, Dream always telling him much of a traitor he is and how he hurt everyone. At first, he’d tried to write what he remembered of the dreams but as time went on the dreams got all the more terrifying, resulting in panic attacks the moment he was pulled into consciousness. To say he’d been sleeping badly would be an understatement, he could barely bring himself to go to bed at night in fear of another night terror or sleepwalking.

Now fully dressed and prepared for the day ahead of him Ranboo exited his home, bringing his memory book and normal tools. He made his way towards Techno’s home being careful not to slip on the icy patches in the snow. The rising sun bathed the land in light and provided warmth against the biting chill. Making his way up the steps quickly to get inside and away from the freezing conditions. Although once inside he realized no one was home, neither Phil nor Techno insight.

‘They must be out somewhere collecting resources.’ He thought to himself as he turned back and descended the slippy steps, starting his journey to the mainland.

* * *

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

The constant clicking of the clock was beginning to be a comfort of sorts to Dream, a reminder he was in fact alive and not stumbling around the world like Ghostbur. The doom he had felt that day as Tommy brought him down to his final life still baffled him. He was meant to be stronger but he was forced into submission. He had been surrounded by many he’d once called friends and pushed into a corner. He’d had no other option. Even as he kept repeating this truth Dream still disgust in his failure to control Tommy. He was met with this failure daily without escape. It was maddening.

Thunk.

Thud-thud-thud.

Thunk.

Dream rolled over from his position facing the wall, looking over to where his breakfast had been dropped. Raw potatoes… Again. Rolling his eyes, Dream stood and washed his hands taking a few minutes to examine his dulling claws and faded scars.

His left hand was callused from holding his shield and littered in tiny cuts from the metal grip. The right was much the same but decorated in a much larger scar in the palm of his hand. A thick slash ran through the skin, a battle scar Dream had gained in his childhood. As the years went on the healed wound had stretched and faded to match the rest of his skin. He remembered the deep purplish red it had been the first few years, thinking a silent prayer to himself that it had faded so well. The topic of how he gained it was a sore spot even after many years. The story behind it cropped up painful memories.

Finally done cleaning Dream made his way over to the wall where his food had been deposited. Sitting down beside it with a groan; He picked up one of the three he’d received and took a bite. Hating the texture and bitter taste, Dream forced himself to swallow the offending food. After all, he’d rather not starve to death.

He ate the first two and decided he could go without the third. Taking it in his left hand, using the claw of his index finger, he began to carve the vegetable into a jagged shape that somewhat resembled a dragon. However, the months without practice caused him to slip up, making the wings too thin and break off.

The clock informed him he’d sat there for an hour and a half, turning the potato into what now resembled a drake. He’d been awake almost three hours and had 11 hours left before he’d start to get tired enough to sleep again.

Bored senseless yet again, Dream retrieved one of his books and a quill, not the same from last night, however. This one was empty, from the bottom of the pile. While thinking about what he could write, a distant memory pulled itself into Dream’s mind. It was vague and jumpy, never settling on a specific image. One moment it was a familiar grinning face he couldn’t name next blur of moss green and eggshell white. It was like water spilling over a freshly painted canvas.

Confused by the imagery in his head, Dream began to write a description of the bizarre memory, accompanied by a rough sketch. The drawing didn’t really fit what he’d seen but it would have to do. It was scratchy and erratic, not making much sense if it was seen from an outsider’s perspective. The only distinguishable detail being the smiley face in the centre of the scribbles. Dream quickly noticed the smile resembled his own and figured whatever this memory was linked to must have been some kind of inspiration… But that didn’t sit right with him. Then he remembered why.

“Fuck. Off.”

“Well, that was rude. I come to visit you and you swear at me. That’s not very nice, Dream, but to be honest I don’t think you know how to actually be nice…”

Dream lifted his head and rolled his eyes not that the visitor could see. He replied, “Tommy I wasn’t talking to you…” How did he not notice the lava had retracted or heard the damn bridge moving?

The boy simply laughed at him before retorting, “have you actually lost your sanity in here or something. You-know talking to yourself is what insane people do. Have you gone crazy Dream. Eh Drea-“ the teen rambled on as Dream’s thoughts swirled.

‘God, he can be so annoying…’

“-I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve lost it a little in this tiny box… You’re ignoring me aren’t you?”

“Sorry, what? Were you speaking?” Sarcasm dripped from every word.

“Funny. Soooo… What’ve you been up to? You-know other than prison.” Dream could tell he was genuinely interested for some reason. So he explained what he’d done since the child’s last visit. Talking about how Bad had visited him but no one else and showed him the little potato dragon he made earlier that morning.

“The wings fell off, guess I'm out of practice. Heh, I used to be able to get every detail in when I was a year or two younger than you. Sapnap and George used to think it was pretty cool… Urgh-um what about you? I heard you and Sam are building a hotel”

Tommy just stared. He looked conflicted. After a while the boy schooled his expression, regaling how Sam had turned into Sam Nook and the hotel’s progress.

“He has me running all around like its animal crossing, collecting things for him even though I’m paying him.” Throughout Tommy’s recap of things, Dream had been rubbing his thumb across the scar that covered the majority of his right palm, which was something Tommy had noticed. “What’s with your hand? You’re rubbing it like you’ve cut yourself or something.”

“Well, my hands getting itchy, now that I don’t have my gloves anymore. I have sensitive skin.” Dream made no attempt to make the lie sound believable and Tommy took the hint to drop the subject.

“Rightttt… Well, it's been cool but I’m gonna go now… I could-“

“Bye Tommy. Thanks for dropping in.” Dream really couldn’t be bothered to entertain whatever Tommy was going to say. The clock already reaching the midpoint of the day, which meant he'd been talking, or rather listen to Tommy blabber on for an hour or two.

The teen looked confused at first but quickly became annoyed by the older man’s bluntness. He walked straight past Dream, towards the drop point, and waited for Sam to bring him back over.

After 30 minutes since Tommy’s visit, the familiar thunk of the system that brought his food sounded, delivering five raw potatoes of varying sizes. Dream picked out the largest of the bunch and put it to the side for carving. He slowly ate the others as he thought over everything he’d been told about outside the prison.

* * *

After stopping by the hotel, where he ran into Fundy, who explained that Tommy was visiting Dream, Ranboo travelled to Snowchestor to visit Tubbo. He’d seen him a few days before, and they had decided to go resourcing together to make sure their tools were in the best conditions. It was painfully obvious that things weren’t going to be calm even if Dream isn’t a problem. BBH and Antfrost were still obsessed with the egg and were acting super aggressive if they didn’t think you supported it. Which was becoming a problem, not to mention the red vines invading the mainlands.

Ranboo arrived in Snowchestor fairly quick, using his trident to traverse the sea separating the two lands. He could see Tubbo working away at the farm that lay behind the stage they’d set up. It looked like he was halfway through replanting. Ranboo raised his hand waving, as he yelled over to the other teen.

“Hey, Tubbo! How’ve you been?”

Tubbo jumped slightly at the sudden company but quickly recovered, “Hey, big man. I’ve been good, you? I know you said you haven’t been sleeping well recently.” Ranboo had reached his friend by the time he finished his sentence.

“Yeah, I could be better. I had another nightmare last night, urgh, they're driving me crazy.” He gave a tired smile to the shorter boy, “ I’m trying to stop it from getting to me. I figured going out with you today for that resource hunt we talked about the other day would be a good distraction. If you're not busy?”

“Hmmm, maybe some of my experiments would hel-”

“-NOPE! Not happening!”

Tubbo grinned and laughed, “I’m joking, I’m joking. But sure! Let’s go get stacked!” Ranboo beamed, thankful for his friend’s support and understanding.

The pair walked to Tubbo’s home in comfortable silence, Ranboo following a small distance behind his friend, knowing they’d be leaving as soon as Tubbo emptied his inventory. While he waited, Ranboo looked up at the sky, watching the clouds drift by. He noticed it was a little while past midday just as his stomach growled in protest. He’d forgot to have breakfast that morning so, he wasn’t surprised at the volume. Not wanting to run on an empty tank, Ranboo pulled out the steaks he was carrying from his pack and began nibbling on them. By the second piece, Tubbo had returned and was ready to go. He was dressed in his armour and had all his tools on hand.

“Ready, big man?” He questioned.

With a nod from the enderman hybrid, the two set off in the direction of the mainlands. They decided to travel through there and head in the direction of Pogtopia, seeing as not many went there anymore, it was bound to have untouched resources. However, as they reached the prime path near the holy lands, they ran into Tommy.

He looked pissed off, which wasn’t shocking with the knowledge of where he’d been that morning. “Hey, guys.”

“Hey, what’s wrong, Tommy?” The shorter of the two asked, clearly oblivious of where Tommy had come from.

“Dream is a fucking dickhead. I went to see him because it’s been ages since I last saw him and the bastard was being moody. He barely even paid attention to what I was saying.”

“He’s not worth your time Tommy,” Ranboo replied with a sneer.

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. Fuck him.” The younger of the three perked up immediately and sported a cocky grin. “So, what’re you two up to?”

“We’re just getting materials because we’re running low. Wanna tag along, big man?” Tubbo offered.

Tommy pretended to think about it before shrugging and agreeing, stating he needed things for Sam Nook. “Where are we going?” He questioned as they started to walk past Church Prime.

“The area near Pogtopia, its basically untouched in some places so, there’ll be plenty of stuff for the taking. It’s got trees and ores; what more could we ask for!”

“Huh, yeah I guess you’re right.”

The trio lapsed into comfortable banter as they journeyed and continued to as they worked. Ranboo could almost forget his troubles in the peaceful atmosphere they’d created. But he knew once they were done, things would go back to dismay.


	2. :)

SO! Quick update for anyone genuinely interested in this. I’m happy to report I’ve now mapped out the general plot of this fic and if I get this fic finished without wanting to drop dead, I will be writing a another set after the events of this one. The next fic will be heavily Dream based so if you came for Ranboo I apologise as he won’t be the main character of the fic. However he will be a central character within it.   
  
I have no idea when the next chapter will be up but hopefully it’ll be in the next week or two. 

I’d also just like to say this fic will have more fanart in it. I really enjoyed creating the memory image and created a design for XD. Which if you’ve come from my tumblr is already posted.   
  


Thank you for reading, I appreciate it a lot. Please leave a comment if you have any questions and I’ll answer :) 

Hope you all have a lovely day/night!

**Author's Note:**

> If I get the time I'll post a comic strip of the original post over on my Tumblr. https://scavenger-art.tumblr.com/


End file.
